I had an high school crush. Just called him R. We were from different school. I peeked his Friendster and checked his comment. It was around 15 years ago. Now I’m back snoop his social media. Peeking his Instagram and checked his tagged post.
I like using chatting client. From SMS chatting service to MIrc. Yes, I like getting to know new person out of my regular circle. Both men and woman. Only some lines would re-intersect to my line after many times drifted apart. R is one of them.
It was a dull moment. I didn’t understand my way of thinking by using chatting system by SMS. Yes, I found him through chatting service. After several person, I was quite comfortable chatting with him. We agree to move to regular SMS.
First glance about him that I remember was he was so proud becoming front liner of school fight. Yes, his high school known with lifelong school fight tradition. By now, you know which high school he registered. After several weeks chatting. We forget each other.
He was coming back by contact me again months later. Only now he was so different. A proud front liner young man transformed into more religious. Becoming ROHIS member if I was not wrong. I’m started put interest to him.
The only phone call I made to him was when I got confused deciding which platform should I take so I could get bus to Cibubur. Blok M terminal was so huge. I was perturbed by its complicated design. R was the first person appeared in my mind since his school sits around Blok M terminal. It took me so long to put together my gut to call him.
My doubt was vanish as he picked up the phone. He tried to steer me to right platform. Kind-hearted man, my first presume. Finally, I got up to right platform and found the intended bus. I safely arrived at home Alhamdulillah.
After finished high school, I accepted to engineering faculty in Bandung while he was accepted to medicine faculty in Surabaya. Days before I moved to Bandung, I texted him whether we could meet each other. Unfortunately, he refused it. Had to prepare his sister’s (or brother’s?) wedding he said. I didn’t know whether it was true or he just made up to avoid me.
It didn’t matter actually. Perhaps we just comfortable for just being “chatting buddy”. We never argue about that.
Months passing by, we found our new interest circle in new city and we started to drifted apart.
Years passed by, one of my environmental buddy said that she wanted to attend her good high school friend’s wedding. Little did I know, actually that her friend’s spouse was R! Wow, so lucky to you both could married since you both still university student. I just didn’t expect I heard about R again.
After finished my master degree, I married to my lovely husband when I was 23 years old. He was a doctor and would start his first year orthopedic residency. The journey was smooth rather rough. I am grateful by having him.
Years ago, I heard he and his wife would take residency to same university as my husband registered. His wife is in pediatric and he is in internist. They are so smart because granted to LPDP scholarship.
Around 3 years ago, my husband got invitation to his colleague’s wedding. Like usual, I and kiddo tagged him along. How surprising, I saw R in the wedding as well. No wonder, since my husband circle and his were near, the probability of intersection was huge.
It was the first time I saw him in real life. Also the last.
Days ago, I saw my high school’s friend (which was in same pediatric residency batch to R’s wife) posted that R has passed away. The news made a temporary delirium space for a while. I heard before that he dealt with cancer but started to recover and back to normal life.
“The cancer metastasis”, clarified by my friend.
So, our line would never intersect again. The “crush” term is not correct to be honest. We are unique. There were no romantic interest after all. His part of his name is in my popular pen name make “chatting buddy” sound less to me. He is kind-hearted man after all. All of the tagged post testify the same energy.
He was 31. Good people die young. People around my aged getting Cancer. Dead is certainty to all living things. We should thinking about dead more and prepare as perfect as possible.
Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihi rajiun. Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. May Friday and Ramadhan is Khusnul Khatimah for you.