Who am I?
I find my self low-empathic. That’s the vital infirmity of myself. I have to improve myself, at least lowering the damage. Caring other more, especially family and close circle. I am secluded introvert. I enjoy loneliness for sometimes. In contrary, I love joining community and networking. Recharging mind, sorting out what’s going on. A thinker and learner as well. I consider this as my superiority. Sometimes I need space alone without disruption to think. I take this as my me-time. I have to do this almost everyday in order to keep me sane. In this pandemic era, yes, i feel comfortable not to roam outside my home after several months passed. Learning new things always keep me alive. I love taking course or seminar even I have to pay reasonable fee and currently not an office worker. As long as I put interest, I will go on.
I am honest. Especially related to money. When I had debt Rp 300.100, for example, I will pay back with the exact number, even more. Living orderly, If my routine is a little bit shifted, I might be tantrum. A morning lark who love start a new day in early morning. Start becoming more grateful person than the people I used to be. I like share to people without wanting publicity. Sometimes I am a speaker with no fee, as long as giving benefit and understanding to other people
I adapt to change. The system will be applied to me with new approach I’ve already made. Thanks to my thinker and learner trait. I accept sarcasm as well. So don’t afraid to make me feeling bad because of something. I consider myself using logic more than feeling, giving me more sense of crisis.
What I’m Fighting for
I have to fight start from the closest circle. Husband, kids, parents, relatives. They accept me who I am in all condition. I’m trying to give my best shot to give them the best version of me.
Well, I’m a little bit ambitious for sometimes. I fight for my principle and the “empire” that I currently cement paving.
The Similarity to IIP
Family based living.
IIP have principle that we have to be fully functional as a wife to our husband, a mom to our kids, a daughter to our parents. While living in health family, We support woman-empowerment. IIP encourage its member to do self actualization more by giving opportunities and network.
“Dear, I felt so gloomy but I don’t know the cause.” Texted by me to my husband.
It all started when my Eyang passed away in October. How my tremble voice of my mom breaking the news in front of my very eyes. It was so vivid and surrealist. As my parents left my apartment, there’s only me and my kids. I just hugged my first born to sooth my feeling. Day after that, my husband had to attend wedding at another town, make my feeling so gloomy and hollow. The loneliness made random thought knocked my head impolitely. Continue reading
“It’s hard to talk to her, she is so self-willed”, my brother exclaimed
“Look at me, how stubborn I was. How I turned down each our parent’s advice. But now, I accept my husband’s words as if no rejection.”
Yes, I have ambition(s), but I never consider myself melancholy as I write letter to my future me 1 year later. I plan myself in a big blue print but still, I rarely write in a notes. Being a housewife instead never put out my ambition. Thanks Allah, though I feel early in my choosen path at least I have something to pursue indeed.
Tonight, I watched last episode of Modern family, titled Crazy Train. In almost the end of episode, I found they mention about horseshoe turn (horseshoe curve) railroad in California. There are two horsehoe curve railroad in united states. One in California and the other in Pennsylvania (based on google).
Bored of cooking soup, I decided to cook roasted ribs. Practically, I commonly cook soup if I have bone ingredient (ribs, oxtails,marrows). I googling the recipe and my final decision fall into lemon honey glazed roasted ribs. Oh wait, actually it is just honey glazed roasted ribs. Since my husband abruptly said “lemon honey”, it made me thought that it was absolutely good idea.
Bechamel (white sauce) might known as the mother of sauce in western culinary. When you have ability to make really great bechamel, you just few steps from cooking western creamy dish. Have chicken soup? Add bechamel for chicken cream soup. Have macaroni? Add bechamel for mac ‘n cheese. Have lasagna? Add bechamel as sauce for lasagna bolognese. Have potato? Add bechamel for potato au gratin. Have steak? Add bechamel for complimentary sauce.Those just a a few of dish using bechamel.
Today I randomly stumble to my Tumblr message. I instantly flashback my memory back then. My gaming life to be specific. And then I read this message archive.
Tumblr is a social blog I rarely open nowadays though I still have the app in my iPhone. Blogging and re-posting in Tumblr synchronously a scarce habit for me. But due to I’m being in One Day One Post for 99 days challenge, sometimes I blog in tumblr to meet quotas. My tumblr posting is more personal because I am to afraid to show who personally I am in public. Only limited number know my tumblr account nowadays.
Opening Tumblr is like a pandora and treasure box at the same time. You will find the posting you love. The posting you hate. Your posting is like a time machine and you are a time traveller. The memory will be reminisced. The story who has been fade away, appear in the surface waiting for you to dive into it. Sometimes you will just laugh so hard to your silly action and thought in your past day.
Sometimes you find how different you are as a person in that day.
People changes. Memory still remain.
You notice how each one of your memory, good or bad has a remarkable place in your mind. Each story have their point of view and become a chapter to fill the page of your “life book”. There always something you can learn. And each of it always, always make you a better person through the day.